I always knew in the back of my mind that one of these days I'd grow up and find my place in the world. I had accepted being unsure of myself years ago; it was a good excuse for being paranoid, cynical, and passive-aggressive about everything. To everyone.
But, what's the point in living like that forever? Pity will never make me happy. Sympathy won't make me love myself. Not even being liked, accepted, and wanted will make me feel fulfilled. I'm glad I finally realized that wallowing in my own insecurities will only perpetuate them; being optimistic is the only way I'm ever going to get out of my own mind and start living my life.
I have become self-sufficient lately, at least in the emotional and mental aspects. I'm strong enough to take care of myself and to keep from falling apart. I have learned to love my strengths and my weaknesses at the same time. I have learned that I'm really fortunate, in a lot of ways. I don't believe in a god but I know I have a purpose in my life: a purpose I've created for myself, to be successful using my gifts and experiences.
I learned a lot this summer. There were bumps along the way, but the path less travelled gave me a new perspective on myself, my surroundings, and my future. The brilliance and wisdom of a very important person helped me, for sure. He was the spark that lit the fire.
I am happy, now. I have a foundation to be happy, forever. I'm not going to let anyone bring me down. This is my life, and I love it.
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"The same future you have, tomorrow, won't be the same one you had, yesterday." - Rant Casey
